Looking Forward and Back, Not Sideways

We hear it all the time:
don’t compare your life to others.

It’s advice I’ve repeated to myself more than once.

But over time, I’ve realised it’s not always that simple.
When you try too hard not to compare, you can also end up pulling away from people altogether.
You stop looking around.
And without really noticing, you drift a little further away from everyone else.

So where’s the balance?
Between not comparing your life
and still staying connected to the world around you?

When I think about it, my life feels clearly divided into two chapters.
The first was lived in Korea.
The second began in my late twenties, when I moved to Australia.

Living here has quietly shifted the way I see people.
Australians don’t seem particularly interested in measuring themselves against others.
There’s a lot more ease in how people live, dress, and move through the day.

People pop into shopping centres in pyjamas.
They wear shorts in the middle of winter.
No one really reacts if a neighbour buys a new car,
or a friend turns up with an expensive bag,
or someone looks dressed up for no obvious reason.

There’s very little comment.
Not much judgement either.

But at the same time, there’s something quietly attentive about it all.

If someone looks lost, overwhelmed, or like they might need a hand,
someone usually steps in.

“Are you okay?”
“Need a hand?”

It’s casual. Almost automatic.
No big gestures. Just human.

I often wonder where that difference comes from.
Is it cultural?
Is it the pace of life?
Or is it something you learn simply by living here long enough?

For me, this second chapter of life has felt lighter in that way.
Stepping away from constant comparison has given me more space to think clearly.
And instead of looking sideways, I’ve started paying attention to different directions.

I look forward, at what’s still unfolding.
And I look back, at where I’ve come from.

Somewhere between the two,
I’ve started to notice smaller moments that used to pass me by.
The kind of things you only see when you’re not busy keeping score.

Maybe living without comparison isn’t about shutting yourself off from the world.
Maybe it’s about choosing not to look sideways,
so you can stay grounded in your own path
while still remaining open to the people around you.

I’m still figuring out where that balance sits.
Between comparison and connection.
Between focusing inward and staying open.

If you’ve ever thought about this in your own life,
I’d love to hear how it feels for you.
Where do you find yourself looking most often — sideways, forward, or back?